Monday, July 31, 2006

the madness of 90 degree weather.

so i was stuck in a small traffic jam on east johnson today in the mind boggling heat that blanketed madison.

there were these two shirtless, buff, extremely tan guys making their way from their apartment to the park by the lake and as they passed by my car, i doused one of them with water from my water bottle.

the guys stopped and looked at me like, "wft?!"

i looked the one who was still dry in the eye and said, "now lick your friend. that's right, i said lick him! lick that water right off him. DO IT!"

and he did.

no really. he did.


alright, you got me. that never happened. the guys were there, the heat was there and that stupid traffic jam was there, but i never threw water at them and they never licked each other.

but i bet leo laporte would've licked the water right off of john c. dvorak in a HEART BEAT.

he's kinky like that.


Sunday, July 30, 2006

littlest ninja gets spiritual

i set out on a mission today to find me some tennis shoes that kicked some SERIOUS ass, but cost less then $20, particularly around $15.

what i REALLY wanted was a pair of chucks and i saw that famous footwear had some styles in adult sizes, i thought maybe JUST maybe they'd have some in kid sizes too.

i went to target first, because i needed some items for the bathroom and because they have had cute little athletic shoes for less than $15 before.

but not today! (oh boy, not today!)

so, with a heavy heart, i made my way to famous footwear.

it took me forever and day to find the kids section and let me tell you, when i DID find it ... choirs of angels were singing. for lo and behold, right in the middle of the isle, on a stand ... hightop converse all star chucks ... in brown. my favorite color.

and it gets better.

$10 on clearance.

in my size.

fit me like a glove.

thank you god.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

rock-n-roll has done sold out on us

i never thought i'd see the day when tommy lee, jason newsted and gilby clarke were the judges on a rock-n-roll version of american idol, but kids, i bring you : SUPERNOVA. a show where said rockers audition lead singers american idol style and it's hosted by dave navarro and brooke burke.

i did indeed watch, but only out of morbid curiosity. that seems to be the theme of tonight since as soon as supernova was over, i watched 3 back to back episodes of the hills - the spin off show of laguna beach.

i fuckin' hate laguna beach and i fuckin' hate the hills and i really fuckin' hate that i end up watching them anyway.

i'll just blame it on terrorism. fuck, why not? that's what bush and the riaa does.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

ya know what movie i LOVE?

bram stoker's dracula. i remember when i was young, it was considered (at least by MY friends ... i was only 11) to be THE scariest movie EVER made!!! *gasp!* the reputation of this movie was such that i never saw it until last year.

oh, but did i love it and do i still love it more than EVER!!!

the accents are HORRIBLE!!!!! they cast the two worse actors EVER ... winona ryder and keanu reeves. but you gotta love the set designs and how they are a total throw back to really old school black and white movies with their painted back drops and horrible sound stage scenes.

and then ... there is gary oldman. *sigh* i LOVE his performance. he does such a great job of being so fucking sexy AND creepy at the same time. he is so compelling to watch.


he really does make this movie.

otherwise it's an over the top, crappy ass movie with horrible music, a man sized bat having sex with crazy red-haired women in gardens that stars KEANU fucking REEVES ... and winona ryder ... and cary elwes.

alright. that's all i got. good night.